The Onion Tribute
Bringing you 20 years of exhilarating news! With a dramatic touch.
Weather:
Local scientists just released that there is a new type of natural disaster. They call it the Twisterquake. They call it the Twisterquake because it is a combination of a tornado and an earthquake. This storm is projected to have 100 mph winds and to shake the ground violently. It will hit at exactly 1:00 pm in the Lake County area. Folks, scientists do not know much about this storm, so we advise you to take caution!
Animals:
Well, the rumors are true: they are sending animals to live in space. More specifically, Mars. We had a chance to visit with Teddy (the dog on the left) about the journey he will take. He said, “Bark, bark, bark, ruff,” or, in other words, he is excited to live somewhere new. Teddy is leaving tomorrow and couldn’t be more excited. Scientists want to give this a try because dogs are far smarter than humans. At least, according to Teddy.
Food:
A new social media trend has made a new food combination popular. It is a new pasta dish. The noodles are steamed worms simmered in pesto sauce. The main topping is mealworms, packed with protein. This social media trend started on “gym bros” TikTok for people who are looking for high-protein options, but it became a challenge all around TikTok to try the infamous dish. The common drink served with the pasta is raw eggs mixed with egg whites. As influencers continued to try it, menus around the United States began serving it.
APRIL FOOLS!
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