For this edition of The Maroon, I’ve decided to use the knowledge and experience I’ve gathered throughout high school to advise others as they complete their educational journey. Note that while I may seem to know what I am talking about, taking any advice posted on this page with more than a grain of salt can lead to serious, life-altering consequences that you probably don’t want.
What do I do if someone asks me to spell icup?
Signed,
Didn’t-See In-Tennessee
Dear Didn’t See,
If someone asks you to spell “ICUP”, you’ve already ceded most of your credibility and respect for engaging in argument with such a juvenile force. Stare into their eyes and spell “e-y-e-k-u-p”. As they process what happened, evacuate the area and find your friend group.
JB
I’m having trouble coping with the monotony of everyday. I need some advice for how to liven up pathetic existence. Please help.
Signed,
Feeling-Blue in Timbuktu
Dear Feeling-Blue,
That’s some rough stuff. It sounds like you need something to keep yourself occupied. I would suggest finding a new hobby. Some hobbies can be expensive to get into, like collecting video-games or vintage electronics, but there are fun and exciting hobbies you can do on a budget. Collecting cans, coins, or pins can be a rewarding and fun experience. When you’re feeling overwhelmed and weighed down by everyday life, lay out your impressive collection of whatever-it-is on the table and feel a sense of accomplishment and pride. If that doesn’t do it for you, invest in a backyard zip-line or some of those boots with suction cups on them that people use to illegally climb skyscrapers. The possibilities are endless.
JB
I’m having trouble fitting in at school. What can I do to belong?
Signed
Doesn’t-Belong in British Hong Kong
Dear Doesn’t-Belong,
Fitting in is something every high school student worries about on a daily basis. You probably already fit in and just don’t realize it. However, if you insist you don’t, there are some steps you can take.
To begin, you should be nice to everyone. Making people feel valued and respected goes a long way, and you will see the same thoughtfulness returned to you.
Secondly, you shouldn’t isolate yourself. You need to show people that, just like themselves, you have a personality, thoughts, and opinions. By hiding behind your laptop and avoiding eye contact with your classmates, people will not get the opportunity to discover who you are.
Lastly, you need to speak up. If you think of a funny joke, you should say it. If you know the answer to that one question the teacher has been waiting 20 seconds for someone to answer, you should say it. People will respect confidence. Even if you are wrong, having the guts to put yourself out there will garner admiration. Who knows how long the teacher would have waited for the class to answer that question?
JB